Photo Set









Bread knife

The french have grown more powerful. 

Hold it!

Look more closely at these photographs, Your Honor.

Notice anything strange about the bread?

I didn’t either. That’s because…

…no cuts were made there in the first place!

The witness forged the photographs to make it look like they had an actual bread knife, when they actually did not!

How, you ask? Look to the second photo.

While it is quite obvious that the knife is penetrating the top half of the breadstick, I’m not sure about the bottom half.

Looks pretty flat, doesn’t it?

The angle of the photo makes it look like the knife is in the witness’s breadstick, whilst it is actually behind it. In addition, the cut was actually made after the first photograph and before the second. Continue to the third photograph.

It is also taken from a flat angle, as was the second photograph. I’m sure you’re finding something missing in this photograph as well, Your Honor. Where is the index finger’s fingertip?

This illustration explains it all.

While I am… ahem, not the best artist…

(Didn’t I go to art school?)

The index finger is hidden behind the loaf of bread. It is not wrapping around the loaf of bread. This is because…

The witness was making space to put the knife’s handle!


Are you really that dull, Wright? For a man who majored in art you should be able to recognize a sculpture when you see one.

as we can see from the photos provided, this is quite obviously plastic.

if you look at any photo of real bread it can’t attain that level of shininess, and even if it could.

If you’ll notice in this picture, the bread on the inside is quite shiny, as well.

Tell me, Wright, have you ever seen real bread gleam that much? Don’t answer that, I will.

Even in this high-resolution photograph with bread that thick, it obviously wouldn’t shine on the inside when it isn’t buttered.

And it isn’t too hard to find the item in question with a quick google search.

Oh, and if you will notice, their hand was covering the seam where the bread was taken apart in the first photo with a simple comparison of the pattern on the bread.

It appears your lawyering skills are in much need of some sharpening if you expect to cut me down with that weak objection.

Edgeworth, you’re asking yourself the wrong question. It’s not “is there bread like that…”

You should be asking “can there be bread like that?”

Sweet bread can be infused with sugar or a syrup, making the outsides shinier- and the insides sweeter. Take a look.

Furthermore. there are parts of the witness’s bread knife that don’t just match up with the novelty bread knives you have presented. Take another look.

Let me point out two things about the novelty knives: one, their markings, and two, the placement of the knife itself.

In the novelty knives, the marks are artificial-looking and repeated. That is because they are manufactured. In the witness’s photo, the marks are more natural and realistic- because they are, well, real!

Furthermore, the blades on the novelty knives are in the middle of the handle.

But… look back at the witness’s photo. The knife is to the left? Where is the problem, you ask? Look at this illustration.

Here we have the knife, a piece of bread, and a table. Let’s have a go.

I’m sure you see it now, Your Honor.

The bread knife cannot actually be used to cut bread efficiently! Even if it was tilted, it would be uncomfortable and unbalanced!

The defense has an explanation for this positioning.

The blade is to the left because the witness was holding it behind the piece of bread!

And we’ve come full circle

your Baldness, I ought to point a few things out for the defense, seeing their apparent blindness.

so. this bread is done so it mimics the well known “baguette”, a typically French food. it is common knowledge that this kind of bread does NOT belong to the sugar bread cathegory. don’t object Wright or elseway you’ll get an entire country angry at you ((you already pissed a Frenchie off. don’t piss off more)) now see this ?

yes, the inside of the bread. it is relatively regular, and has very small and not very deep holes obviously.

now see this

the holes are much more irregular, deeper and of different size, this in all three slices in the picture. smaller holes would mean it’s another kind of bread, thus another shape outside !

thus the only explanation being that this is the bread-knife is in fact plastic. and just in case the defense won’t shut it, here are further proofs.

look at these two photos.

one may see there an handle, or at least the end of one, and an hole.

they are fitting !

it’s fairly easy to see, even without the lines and cut of image. it means that the hole is there specifically for the knife. wouldn’t it be hard to cut such a precise hole in some bread ? I think it would. and in plastic ? molding such thing would be a children game.

another thing I wish to point out is this.

doesn’t this look strange to you ? to me it does. it’s like the bread and the handle are one, especially when you see the slight light at the crossing of both, just like… light reflecting on a corner of plastic.

oh and aslo… may I ask you how do you cut your meat, dear Mr Wright ?

because I’d find it quite hard to do so without inclinating and tilting your knife !

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Shove that whole pan in my ass & spoon feed me your seed


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Upon cleaning out the darkest depths of my grandmother’s fridge, I discovered food that is older than me. This expired in February… 1987. This can saw Reaganomics. This can saw The Challenger explode. It saw the fall of the Soviet Union. It was around when Tupac got shot. Both times. This can is older than The Simpsons. #bruh

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Photo Set


on a scale of fake pockets to nachos how good is your idea

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Teenage boys are so weird
Why do they want to stick their penis into everything?

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I just spit out my coffee

You’re supposed to swallow it

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Fun little trick I learned in therapy: validation. When someone is upset, don’t try to fix the problem, point out the cause, or tell them it could be worse. Just validate their emotions. Be like, ‘shit yeah man, that sucks. I’m sorry you’re going through that. I’m here for you.’ That’s literally all you have to do to make them feel better. Thank you and goodnight.

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